Losing My Shit: How it Feels When My Mental Health Hits Rock Bottom

Some days, I feel like I'm managing the daily grind pretty well, feeling good and holding it all together. But then there are days when I just hit my limit. I think we all go through these ups and downs with adulting and all the responsibilities that come with it. But on some days, I just crash and can't pick myself back up. That's Depression, with all its relentless twists and turns.

This past weekend was surprisingly good for me. I got involved in family activities, focused on spending time with my husband, got ready for a hectic week at work, and caught up with friends while making plans. This isn't how things usually go for me lately.

I've got a bunch of people in my life who just don’t get what depression feels like. It’s not their fault, and it’s not because they aren’t trying—they just don’t have depression themselves, so they find it hard to understand. My doctor recently mentioned, "I just think people without mental illnesses will never truly understand." That’s true, and it can make things tough or put a strain on relationships when I’m going through a rough patch.

I started writing this post for my husband Mike. For him to try to understand how it feels, but also how he can be supportive, and what doesn't work, when I am struggling.

What Does Depression Feel Like?

My depression feels like I'm stuck in a dark hole I can't climb out of. Even though I know I'm lucky, blessed, and healthy, with more than a lot of people, depression doesn't care about logic. When I hit this low, the first big signs are my sleep getting messed up and crying a lot. Plus, and it's a bit embarrassing to admit, but when things get really bad, I slack on personal hygiene. It's because I barely leave the house and just end up lounging in my PJs most of the time. I get that everyone's symptoms are different, and I'm definitely not a mental health pro, but these are the first things I notice.

How to Support a Loved One with Depression?

Avoid attempting to fix them, offer tough love, and don't ignore the situation. Be ready to talk when they're willing and do provide your support. The most important thing I want my loved ones to understand is that it's not about them, but I can't simply snap out of it. I can try, but it's difficult, but that doesn't mean I'm not trying.

Have you ever lost your shit?